It’s mother’s day.
My Taiwanese hubby has the idea to take us out for dinner. Great idea so far. I say: “Where?” He: “How about this Libanon restaurant, you like?” Me: “But the kids don’t like that food.” Hubby: “So? It’s about you today, not about the kids!”
Then I’m surprised.
How can he not see the bigger picture?
If the kids don’t like the food, they will start to complain what they should eat. Then hubby will try to convince them to try something new. Then, best case, they will try and say: “Pah, disgusting, I don’t want that. Where is our real food.” Worst case: “They will start shouting while hammering in rhythmic patterns on the table: “We want pasta now. We want pasta Now! WE WANT PASTA NOW!”
And latest then, we will have the attention of all the people in the restaurant and our peaceful evening out is officially over.
We then probably need to leave the restaurant quickly, no time for dessert, with unhappy and grumpy kids.
How can I enjoy this? How can I then enjoy my dinner? How then can this be about me and be a great gift for mother’s day?
How can he not see the bigger picture?
But I have to admit, I also think, there is a different understanding about how children should behave.
Taiwanese hubby believes, kids should just follow what they are told. I think, this is a Chinese way of education. Not questioning much, just follow, do what your teacher and parents say.
Recently we argue a lot about this. I believe children are not machines, they are human beings. What is wrong about them asking, which kind of juice they like? If they can have the choice? Hubby would just give them apple juice, just because that is the bottle in front of him, it is convenient for him and they need to accept it. They should be happy with what they get. But what is wrong about having your own opinion? If they insist on having grape juice, that is available in the kitchen, why not?
Does he not see the greater picture?
Again, I think, he is not seeing it. Independent, self-confident children are good. Maybe it is more hassle, maybe it is more argue, definitely more work to fulfill their needs, but I strongly believe it is worth it. For their future. They know, who they are, what they can do, what they want. They can stand firm, when storm comes, when others attack them. When others try to influence them, they already have their own opinion. Because they learned how to have their own opinion and that it is good to have your own. And more important: they know that they have the right, the right to have their own opinion.
And I believe, in times of Trump, right wing movements all a cross the world, this is so important. So important to give our children the freedom of their own opinion. For a better future.